


Hospitality

by misura



Category: Black Panther (2018)
Genre: Bad Jokes, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-29 18:04:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15734634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: T'Challa is a very bad guest. Arguably, M'Baku is a very bad host, too.





	Hospitality

"Two visits in as many months," M'Baku said, pouring two cups of some drink or another. "People will say that you have lost your heart to a Jabari woman. Or man."

"Better to have lost my heart than my honor, my throne and my life," T'Challa said.

"Bah." M'Baku handed him one of the cups. "Dramatic as always."

"Wakanda owes the Jabari a debt, as do I. For what you have done for me and for Wakanda, I will be grateful forevermore." T'Challa sipped and tried not to grimace.

"That and a bit of money might buy me a pretty basket in one of your shops which I can use when I go flower picking in the mountains."

"I am serious," T'Challa said. "Ask, and I will give it to you."

"Well. Then. Your sister," M'Baku said.

T'Challa stared at him.

"In honorable marriage, naturally. We are not barbarians." M'Baku grinned.

T'Challa sighed. "You are joking."

"Eh," M'Baku said. "You could have played along, like a good guest. Truly, is this how you express your gratitude? Robbing me of my small pleasures?"

"Perhaps you need to pick better jokes."

"Perhaps you need to improve your sense of humor," M'Baku replied. "Would you like me to refill your cup?"

T'Challa held it out wordlessly. "And anyway, I doubt you and my sister would get along. She is very stubborn, very headstrong. Too clever by half."

"Ah. What man would want to marry a woman like that."

"Indeed."

"I was joking," M'Baku said. "You have just described the last six - no, seven women I tried to convince to become my wife. Sadly, not a single one of them would have me."

"You might have had better luck trying to convince them one at a time," T'Challa said.

M'Baku mournfully shook his head. "Best leave the jokes to me, oh, King. Another refill?"

T'Challa narrowed his eyes. "Why have you not been drinking yourself?"

"Eh." M'Baku shrugged. "This drink, it's for guests. To please the palate of those not of the Jabari."

"You mean, to chase them away?"

M'Baku moaned. "Such a bad guest. Why did you even come here, if this is how you are going to act?"

"Who knows? Perhaps I did lose my heart after all." T'Challa presented his cup.

M'Baku took it and turned it upside down, to ensure its emptiness. "An intriguing idea. You will have to fight me in order to earn the honor of being permitted to court them, of course. In the snow. Naked."

"From the Jabari tribe, I would expect nothing less," T'Challa said. "And I will gladly do this, to prove the sincerity of my feelings. Still."

"Ahhh." M'Baku smirked. "Say no more. All is clear."

"So who must I fight for the honor of courting the Great Gorilla?"

M'Baku bared his teeth. "I think - yes, the children. Fully dressed, it goes without saying."

T'Challa blinked.

"Well, snow gets slippery. One might fall, causing an unfortunate accident. Then what would happen?" M'Baku spread his hands. "Much better to make it a snowball fight. More fun to watch as well, and of course it is not unheard of for the audience to get involved. Good, clean fun for the whole tribe, eh?"

"Truly, the Jabari are a wise people," T'Challa said.

"We have quite good taste in men, too," said M'Baku. "I am saying this just so you know."

 

("But brother, you cannot simply waltz in here and ask me to build you a snow cannon without explaining yourself!" Shuri wailed. "At the very least tell me who you are going to use it on.")


End file.
